My farewell to this blog and to Ra (Part 2 El Paso)

If you all subscribe to Ra’s YouTube then you know a bit about what he ascribes to…as one of his loyal “followers” I thought I knew what his philosophy/foundation entailed. In short it was an interesting mixture of a few things:
Moorish Science
Sovereign movement
Government conspiracies

He sort of compiles all these ideas together into one major conspiracy against him and doesn’t differentiate anything.

For you to understand my experience with him you have to understand him from what I observed. He was a very secretive person and to ask him a question was like committing suicide. How do you begin to understand a person who’s mental thought process seems illogical yet they spazz on you for asking questions. It was a catch 22 situation. If I asked questions I would be looked at like I was an “agent” or working against him…how do you tell an illogically thinking person they’re not making sense…or for a lack of better words…that they’re crazy? He had to have been crazy to think I was an agent. He told me that I could’ve been compromised unbeknownst to me (brainwashed mind controlled), and he would tell me with such certainty that I actually started to believe it. What if I don’t really know my parents? What if I was an agent and didn’t know it? Like there may be some chip in my brain that’s waiting to be activated and will instruct me to take Ra out…how would I know? At one point we got in a huge argument and he told me I had lied about my identity. Completely floored I sent him all my information as proof. I should’ve known then that there was something wrong and that I should’ve kept my distance…or at least made sure that I was in a position to get out of the situation if I needed to. Things weren’t that bad at first and I had all the spiritual confirmation that he was my twin flame I felt I this was my destiny.

I will go more in depth with these later. This is just to give you guys a sort of baseline. I have to give you this background so you can sort of understand some things. I’m explaining to the best of my ability because even when HE explained it, it made no sense.

Continue reading My farewell to this blog and to Ra (Part 2 El Paso)


My farewell to this blog and to Ra (the back story)


So, as you can see, my relationship to Ra started from my being a client…all the way back in 2012. My first reading was a natal chart consultation and it was interesting because he accidentally put in the wrong birth time for me so we had to do the consultation again. So I sort of felt like it was fate that drew us back together. Our conversation was like we had always known each other, a certain kindred energy to it.

I was friends with him on facebook and over the next couple years we grew closer. I think what the defining moment or period was when I took his lightworker course. We had weekly meetings so we talked more frequently. Classes ended with a “maybe I should hit you up some time to see how your doing…” and things blossomed from there.

As we got closer, the weirdness started happening. One class we were talking about our favorite books and I mentioned to him a book called The Lost Teachings of Atlantis: The Children and the Law of One (I might’ve put that backwards). He was SHOCKED. Like it almost scared him because not very many people know about that book. It is out of print (last I checked) so it’s nearly impossible to get a hold of it. The website for it hadn’t been updated in several years either. It’s quite mysterious…almost like the book doesn’t exist but does at the same time. Eerie. So I instantly earned cool points for that.

Every since I was a kid, remembering my dreams was easy. I always remember several dreams vividly…like movies. As Ra and I got closer it seemed like my dreams got deeper and weirder. One class we had I told him a dream I had about Sekhmet and I just heard him gasp. “What is it…tell me tell me…” He expressed that he had done a reading before the class and he pulled the Sekhmet card. He felt that she represented me. What took the cake was a dream I had about his son and the sons mother. I dreamt about where they were and specific details which he had not disclosed with me. I also had similar dreams about other women he was involved with, needless to say…it scared him.

We soon fell out of contact with one another but that didn’t stop my dreams. Every time I was intensely worried about him and his well being I would dream about what was going on. Even though he was off the grid I would still email him about the dreams because I felt they had important information for him. There was no doubt in my mind that we were connected spiritually, deeply spiritually. I had known spiritual people but I never had the type of experiences I had with Ra.

Our first encounter was typical. We were both nervous. Time was limited to we didn’t really get too deep about anything. I couldn’t wait to see him again. But he went off the grid again and there I was having uprooted myself just to be closer to him to develop our connection, he disappeared. It hurt deeply to be so into someone, so connected and have no idea if or when you would see them again. The whole reason I was in Atlanta was because of him, then at that point I had no reason to live there. But I held on hoping he would resurface but he didn’t before I was forced to move back to Charlotte. My grandmother had a knee replacement and I was volunteered as her caretaker because I wasn’t working. After she was back well I think I either got a job offer in Atlanta or something drew me back.

A few months after I was back Ra finally reached out to me and we finally decided to meet again. The day we met up our home NFL teams were playing each other but I had to drive across town to meet him so I couldn’t keep up with the game. Once I was finally able to check the score I found that the teams had tied! I didn’t even know teams could tie in the NFL. We both felt this was a sign we were supposed to be together…car


My farewell to this blog and to Ra (part one)

I have decided to make series of blog posts to tie up loose ends and heal (this blog). I think people deserve closure and this is my way of obtaining mine.

Ra and I had a whirlwind adventure, one that is definitely for the books. Not too many people get that opportunity. We had big hopes and dreams of really helping those in the spiritual community. Idea after idea, we often fantasized about how we could turn our dreams into a reality and just live like spiritual nomads enjoying the peaceful path. Well, things shortly turned out to be not so peaceful after all and everything I had hoped became a distant memory…

This blog post will be biased and one sided because it is coming from my perspective of things. I will try my best to keep things as objective as possible. The last thing I want is for this post to be received as someone who is bitter and lashing out. I simply wish to share our story, from my perspective.

The initial journey…

As you all who may had been following this blog during that time, you may recall that Ra and I were planning on backpacking across the U.S. We had this big bright idea that we were going to detach from everything and live as nomads camping and traveling across the states till we got to our destination out west. After we got back to Atlanta things didn’t really go as planned and it was much to cold to try and make it on foot. So we settled in and continued to discuss our future. Shortly before thanksgiving of 2014 Ra and I had a huge blow up and I ended up going back home to Charlotte. His funds from his business had plummeted and suddenly he was accusing me of being the cause. He started to accuse me of being an agent and kicked me out of the hotel we were living in at the time. No car, no money I was put out and I had to figure out how I was going to get home. I ended up calling my dad and asking for some money which i really hated doing. I wasn’t that familiar with Atlanta or their public transportation so I had find my way to downtown Atlanta to catch the bus back to Charlotte. I was beyond scared. I didn’t want to get lost or miss the bus so I left hours early to ensure I would make it on time just in case I did get lost. Everything worked out and I was able to find my bus home.

Side Note:

To add to my frustration and Ra’s trust issues with me, after we did videos together on his channel, people said some of the most horrible things about me. I will say it takes a thick skin to be a public figure because from the comments on the videos and the emails people sent, it was just sad and disappointing. Disappointing because these are people who proclaim to be spiritual. Some of what was said people were telling him not to trust me and that I would bring his downfall etc. On top of the comments about how I looked and sounded. I genuinely wanted to help people but then when things like that happen it really discourages a person. At one point Ra had stopped doing videos and I convinced him that he needed to continue doing videos because people really look to him for guidance and that wouldn’t be fair. The same people who bashed me and accused me of the most insane things, I made sure he was there for them. That’s not to toot my own horn that is me expressing my frustration.

So anyway…

I didn’t hear back from Ra until after thanksgiving. He doesn’t use cell phones that much or if he does it’s always a prepaid phone and he changes them often. When he makes phone calls he always blocks his number. So he is a hard person to keep up with. Once he finally reached back out to me he apologized and asked that I come back. He said he had the financial situation fixed and that we wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. Something about “them” writing contracts on me and money was being taken from his estate because he was living with me.

Side note:

Ra believes that names, identification cards, signing things, shopping at certain stores buying certain brands creates what he calls a “contract.” Once a contract is made money is then taken from his “estate” by way of withholding funds from his youtube royalties or money being taken from his paypal account. “Agents” follow him and write contracts on him. He would remove his cell phone battery from his phone. Remove the battery from his laptop. Remove the smoke detector from the wall because we could be watched through it. I was not allowed to turn on any electronics unless he was there or had given permission to do so. I had to explain this a little further to the best of my ability so that you can follow the story.

Now that the contract was broken I was free to come back. I thought that all the contract talk was a bit far fetched but he was so serious about what he was saying I knew he believed it. I thought maybe it was something I wasn’t seeing or hearing. He would tell me everyone else gets what hes saying so I thought maybe one day it would click. So I got back to Atlanta and I had gone to the store and gotten a bear naked bar, Ra was at work. We had been discussing trying again to go out west especially since I had a car. After I got finished eating my snack I went to throw away the wrapper and I had noticed the letters had rubbed off on my fingers from the expiration date. It spelled D I E. I was SHOCKED! Nothing like that had happened to me before and I know you reading this probably don’t believe it but I promise it was the most eerie thing ever. When Ra got back I showed it to him and he was in total shock also. He expressed to me that he had a rough day also and thought this was the sign we needed to leave Atlanta. So we decided to leave that next day. He told me had had enough money to get us there and everything and I had a few bucks so I thought it would be a fun trip. Finally, we get to pursue our dreams and really help people.

I was in for a rude awakening…